Desert Rose Musings

Let’s see how you respond
to ice in my veins
Subzero
Cold shoulder
Short, monosyllabic icicles
Cut to your quick
And make you bleed red
On my white snow
Cold indifference
You mean as much to me
As snow crunching beneath my steel-toed shoes.

Meanwhile, my lips will grace the neck
Of another man with warm, sunshine kisses
And God-willing
You’ll freeze to death
Because I’m done with you.

To put a name on every facet
Of feelings I have
To put a voice to the unspoken
Leaving me restless and impatient
With unresolved emotions?

How many twists and meanings
Can I glean
From one word?

Love

How many ways can I say I love you?
How many times do I have to say it?
A million Hail Mary’s?
Before my soul feels cleansed
And I feel empty
Repentent and unreplete of all those demons possessing me.

You are my ocean
I flow with and into your waves
High tides buoy me
Undertows drag me down

I won’t sink
You won’t swim
And this raft is going down
Let’s tie on another piece of driftwood

I can’t drift on my own power
Crash into your shore
Dash me on your nether rocks
Leaving me shipwrecked and stranded

I won’t sink
You won’t swim
And this raft is going down.
Let’s tie on another piece of driftwood.

But you…
You’re my 24-carat truth
Pure, unalloyed
Inclusions don’t mask
Diamond-bright facets
Of what you really mean to me.

I beam with possibilities.
I want to radiate love and happiness,
Glow within my soul,
Have it meet a like force,
A lifemate,
Combine with satori brightness,
Blinding everyone with its supernova intensity.
But helps them see
A propensity
Supernova of possibilities
Enlightenment
Our love, a shining beacon,
Satori in its brightness.

I don’t want to talk about it
Because words can’t wrap themselves
Around the behemoth of love

They are so goddamned inadequate
And writing is my life’s work
I guess that makes you greater than my life’s work
You’re my love’s work

Every time you embrace me
Or look at me
I feel I’m holding everything
That is good and bright and solid
In my world
Even if you don’t feel the same

Not much in looks,
Yet you are so beautiful
You make my heart cry
My throat closes up
Choked off, I can’t talk about it

You keep me up at night
Tormented,
Swirling around in my head
You give me not one moment’s peace that I plead for

No matter how I tried to set it aside
I cant’ get past the fact that I just can’t seem to quit you
I can’t get past the fact you have a beautiful soul,
Scarred as it is
But even scars carry healed healthy flesh beneath them
Besides, I’m not looking for perfection anyway
I’m looking for you
And to me no face looks dearer than your own
Or more beloved or beautiful, scars and all.

There comes a time when even I
Have to bow before the reality of truth.
I didn’t pick you;
Love picked you for me.

But I won’t tell you all that.
Because I think you already know.